3 years ago today we walked down the aisle in front of all our friends and family to declare our commitment to one another. God knows I’ve tried to play the part of the dutiful stepford wife, but I think we both know by now that it’s just not working. That you’ll never truly be able to satisfy me… Your cock is just too small and you always blow your load in two minutes. Neither of us wanted things to turn out this way, but living like this really isn’t fair to me. All this time I’ve been faithful to you, but baby I’ve finally come to a decision… Today is the day our lives will change forever.