This is who you are. It's not going to change. You're not watching clips as an "escape" from your "real life." This is your real life. The life you lead outside of your ... interest...in femdom is inauthentic. Trying to contain yourself, and to compartmentalize your...urges...only exhausts you and makes you unhappy. Instead of living a double life, you need to accept the truth. This is just....who you are.